Boundaries

I just saw the movie “Old Fashioned.” When I read the plot my mother and I just knew it would be a movie we would like. The movie was just up my alley and something my mother and I had just been talking about the other day,  relationships and boyfriends.  In the movie “Old Fashioned” the young man has these boundaries that seem crazy to the outside world. Yet, his boundaries lead the way to romancing a girl through a God written love story. The young man put God first in his life and set boundaries, such as never being alone in a room with a girl that is not his wife. It is with these boundaries that he wants to honor his wife before he even knows who she is. As you watch the movie you find the young man did not lead this life of boundaries his whole life, but lived a rather risqué life beforehand.  His boundaries started after he found Jesus. No longer could he ignore the small voice telling him what he had been doing was wrong. Therefore, the young man set up boundaries according to what God lead him to do.

 
Boundaries are to protect us. Proverbs 4:23 states, “Above all else guard your heart for it is the well-spring of life.” Our hearts are fragile, but have tremendous power. Whoever holds your heart holds your life.  As Matthew 6:21 reminds us, “For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” Often in relationships we store our hope and dreams in that relationship. If that relationship does not work out we lose a part of ourselves. We can never get back that first kiss or that first time we say “I love you.”  If the relationship fails, part of us is still left in the relationship. Thus, it important to not be quick in giving your heart away.  
 

God did not write his whole Bible about relationships with Him and others for us to ignore it. Boundaries and rules are not some arbitrary, old fashioned way of life we should ignore.  These boundaries are not to be made out as funny jokes.  The truth is, that really deep down there is part of all of us screaming this is what life is supposed to be like, a God honoring relationship where selfishness is replaced by love. We hunger for relationships that are real and honoring. The only time selfishness should take over is when God is not present in the relationship. God wrote the manual on love, so He most definitely knows how it works. Nothing we do physically or emotionally should violate the truth of God.

 
Often a problem in relationships is when we get preferences confused with principles. In “Old Fashioned” the young man put his principles before preferences, but the girl put preferences before principles. She had grown into the idea that relationships should be about doing things out of desires rather than what is true. Preferences are things we desire and principles are truth. Truth defines love. Who wants to be in a relationship where lies and selfish desires are put first?  There is nothing wrong with desires, but desires are a problem when we let them overrule truth.

 
Someone I heard talk said that romantic movies are the female versions of porn and give a false hope that no one can really live up to. I, on the other hand, see romantic movies as something every girl can have. Jesus is that perfect guy, who will sweep you off your feet and woo you every day. He already died for you and fights everyday with the dark powers and principalities of this world to rescue you. Jesus does not get distracted by the big game on television or forget your date. He longs for a relationship with you, to unleash your beauty to the world. Jesus will honor you and respect you and protect you. I pray for every girl young and older to find the one true lover of our hearts, Jesus.

 
That being said relationships on this earth are important. God does not want us to be alone. As with Adam, God saw it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis2:18). An important part is to let God be in control and part of your relationships. Let God work his providence in your love story. I have a friend, whom set up very precise specifications with God as to how she would know a man was to be the man she was to marry. God very clearly met those specifications and she now has a very wonderful God scripted relationship.
 

My mother just being a mother worries about me and if I will ever marry. It really has not been something I worry about. I may day dream like any girl, but my trust is in God for when the time is right. Marriage just has not been a priority for me yet. I am enjoying this time of singleness in my life and the continued growth in my relationship with God.   If I never marry I have the best prince ever, who romances my heart every day. His name is Jesus. I challenge you to find romance with Jesus.

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