Putting Yourself In A Place You Do Not Belong

As my Bible study group has been studying Esther I have found myself noticing the pride in my heart.  I mentioned in the last post a glimpse of a prideful moment, but pride is a constant battle. One of the leaders of my Bible study referred to pride as the hidden sin. Pride is a sin that often goes unnoticed. In my study of Esther God is making sure I notice pride in my life. Ever since the Garden of Eden men and women have battled with a sense of pride. Adam and Eve wanted to be like God. Instead of contentment there was a hunger to be equal with God. We want notice and recognition above everyone else - to be put on the pedestal. Pride putting yourself where you do not belong by thinking highly of yourself. 

In Esther, Haman really shows how deadly pride is. When Haman was exalted above all the others to second in command the king had to command others to bow and pay homage to Haman. Mordecai chose not to bow or pay homage to Haman. This mockery of Haman’s “standing” from just one man drove Haman to wrath that would not be satisfied with just Mordecai’s death but all of Mordecai’s people, the Jews. Pride can make us overreact to situations. In the end Haman built the gallows used for his own death. Haman intended the gallows to be for Mordecai, but Haman’s life ended on the gallows. Proverbs 16:18 clearly describes the destruction pride causes as follows; “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.” We can only wish for Haman that he had heard the destruction pride causes.

A few years ago I remember very clearly a specific conversation my aunt and uncle had one time in the car. They were talking with each other about the problem of assuming. It was a heated discussion about how one of them had wrongly assumed something for the other.  How the conversation ended was my aunt saying, “Well that is the problem with assuming, it makes an a** out of u and me.” A silly reminder of how assumptions are often made with pride of thinking we know what someone else wants or is thinking.  Assuming is part of the slippery slope of pride.

Back to Haman - he assumed King Ahasuerus would want to honor him above everyone else.  As Haman described the celebration and honor that would be most pleasing to him. Little did Haman know the king was going to ask Haman to fulfill this celebration for the man Haman despised.  The assumption Haman made caused him to cover his head in shame.  Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility come wisdom.”  Haman’s pride brought disgrace upon him. On the other hand is Mordecai. Mordecai never demanded honor or celebration for saving the king’s life, but, by the end of Esther Mordecai is given the king’s signet ring to make an edict saving the Jews. The humility of Mordecai God used to help Mordecai wisely wait out the right time to find a way to save the Jews.   

Often we think of pride as described above is the arrogant pride, which is thinking highly of ourselves. Yet, there is another kind of pride not often talked about, the inferior pride.  Inferior pride is thinking of yourself more lowly than you really are. I like to think of inferior pride as the Eeyore syndrome or a sort of false humility.  You begin to place yourself below where you are at and asking God for something you already have.  Mordecai and Esther could have simply sat by the wayside in sackcloth and crying until God rescued them. Yet, God had already given them exactly what they needed, a Jewish woman as Queen. The Jews did fast for three days before Esther entered to ask the king for a favor, but they decided to use the equipping God had already given them and hope for the rest to just fall into place. 

For my life this inferior pride occurs most in two different ways: first, I keep silent- thinking no one cares what I have to say. Secondly, when I let my age or lack of experience keep me from doing what God has called me to do. I think it is being showed up as inadequate more than anything else. In others the inferior pride could be saying, “Oh poor me”, when really you have so much to be thankful for. The best way I can think of to turn inferior pride around is to spend time in thanksgiving. Someone once suggested to me to start my day saying ten things I am thankful for before uttering any other word for the day. 

Pride is a beast of a sin and can be very costly. The root of humility is knowing who you are and where you belong. Jesus knew who He was and was able to, out of His humility, on His last night wash His disciples’ feet.  In all the religions in the world Christianity is the only one where the God with all power bends to His knees to wash the feet of His people.  The humility of God is what causes us to fall in love with Him, not His pride. Same is true for us. Humility is what draws others to us whereas pride pushes others away. Do not let pride put you in a place you do not belong.