The Fire Hose

Prayer Request: This weekend 27-28 is a big conference, Vital, that I have gotten to help with finishing touches. When people talk about this weekend it sounds amazing, but also like two fire hoses being stuck in my face. The prayer request is that my heart will be open, my walls down, and God will be glorified whatever the outcome.

While the first few days in a temporary new place have not been as expected, they have been good. God is already refining me. I am learning just how much I came to Richmond with expectations. My prayers before arrival were that all unfair expectations from Lighthouse, Kathy (my mentor), and myself would be removed. What I have found is I am the one with unfair expectations on myself.

I was told once by a friend I am too idealistic. So far, in Richmond I am learning the depth of my idealistic ways.  I came to Richmond bright-eyed. All my research and excitement about my new journey was finally here. I thought I could just assimilate into this new denomination and worship, but it has been difficult. The sweet moments have been in my prayer time all over Lighthouse.

All summer I had prayed about Richmond-working with Kathy, her family, Lighthouse, and my living situation. Even though I kept trying to convince God that Richmond was not the only place, He continued to show me it was. I even made a rock with Richmond on one side and Greenville on the other to flip to see which side would come up. Nine times out of ten, it came up Richmond. 

Upon arrival at my living quarters, my landlords were very sweet. They helped me unpack my car and made me dinner. After the long drive it was so nice to have a home cooked meal. I sat to talk with them awhile before retiring to my room to unpack my clothes.

I got texts from Kathy and Josh (her son, associate minister at Lighthouse) to see if I had made it to Richmond all right. All seemed to be right on track. The weather and drive to Richmond was great.
My bed is comfortable.  You can even push buttons and it raises head and feet...I may have had nightmares the first night the bed would swallow me whole.

The first Sunday at Lighthouse was overwhelming. I got to the church when it first opened to break in the quiet place room with prayers and worship. This room will be my place to hide out when I need some alone time with Jesus. Kathy, I think, could sense my hesitancy and anxiety. When she introduced me, she told the congregation to not bombard me all at once.

Worship consisted of 6 songs I did not know and 1 song I did know. For me worship is what sets my heart in tune for what is coming up in the worship service. I feel that when I have to read the words, my heart is not in it since my brain is having to do a lot of thinking to read.

However, all that to say, it is not a deal breaker to not know worship songs. I read in a book this summer that Sunday morning services are supposed to be the extra bonus because your own quiet time is supposed to be the fulfillment.

During the sermon there was lots of talking-Amen and come one and that’s right. At one point we had a praise break where we stood up and shouted to Jesus. I followed the crowd to stand and said in my normal voice thank you, Jesus.

What was hard to adjust to is the altar call. I missed what the pastor said to invite people up to the altar and then when the pastor asked for people to come up to pray for those at the altar I stood in my seat. I just watched the scene unfold in front of me. Sitting in the second row I was thankful for that hedge of protection to be just an observer. In the weeks to come, I want to participate in the altar calls, but for my first day observing was all I could do. One of Kathy’s inner circle came and prayed over me as I probably looked like I was so very uncomfortable. 

Josh, the associate pastor, asked me after worship if it felt like I had put my mouth on a fire hose.
Pretty much yes. I knew worship would be different at an Assembly of God church, but no preparation could prepare my heart. Even with my all-out quiet times this summer and trying to get more expressive in worship, none of it came in handy.

Sunday night service was much more my speed. The music was more familiar, and the service ended with a prayer walk around the sanctuary. If you know me, you would know how much I love prayer. 

The second day, I showed up at Lighthouse to talk with Kathy about the expectations of this temporary assignment. My gut reaction was wanting to pray together about what God wanted us to do with this time He had so clearly set aside for us to work together. We did not pray. Instead, we talked about denominational differences and a little about what I hoped to accomplish while here.

Kathy asked me what my five-year plan was. I do not have a plan. It has never been my thing to plan that much in advance. Coming to Richmond was as far as I got in God leading me. When Kathy left to go check on a congregant I went to the sanctuary to wrestle with God and worship Him. I wrote down some goals for five years and some specific goals for this time in Richmond. I prayed for Lighthouse. My goal in the two months is to cover Lighthouse in prayer.

I have done a few prayer walks outside the building. Prayer seems to be the one concrete thing I can offer right now. I am honored to have so much prayer time.

This week has been crazy leading up to the Vital Conference. I have been able to help Kathy with details and move stuff around. Her mind is on overload with Vital, so I am hoping next week we will be able to talk more about the Holy Spirit and what to do in the months ahead.

Most conversations with Kathy that are not about Vital have been a lot of comparing what she has heard about my denominational background and not actual experience to her church. It has been frustrating and hard as I am here to experience a new denomination not to have my background picked apart. I do not think Kathy understands how much I love Jesus. I am not a baby in faith, just a baby in understanding the Assembly of God church.

My assessment so far this week is that Assembly of God like to do a lot of PDA (public display of affection) to God that I have not learned to be comfortable with yet.  PDA in general makes me uncomfortable. This weekend at Vital I have been told to expect PDA to Jesus at full extreme. It will be a double fire hose in my face.